Our Ethiopia Adoption

our summer

2011-08-27T16:52:00.002-05:00

is it september already? wow, it has been a blur. we spent our summer traveling to our hometown of unionville, mo multiple times. there was a high school graduation, a wedding, a family reunion, a family vacation and another family reunion. it is a 7.5 hour trip without children so you can imagine what it was like with an infant and a 2 year old potty training. i learned many things about myself and my boys while trapped in a car for many, many hours.

1. Landen, even as an infant, needs far less attention than his brother.
2. The art of manipulation begins very early - as early as two months in our car.
3. Casey can tune out almost anything, even in a confined area.
4. David's imagination is endless.
5. David has memorized A LOT of books and loves to "read" them to us.
6. I am the worst traveler in our family.
7. I have many control issues.
8. My boys love going to see grandparents.
9. My boys love coming home to their Stillwater family.
10.My husband has quite a talent for sleeping.
11.We need fresh air - we all love to be outside.
12.David's love language is touch and words of encouragement.
13.Landen's love language is food!
14.Casey's love language is acts of service and food.

these are just a few of my thoughts from our summer of travel.

someday

2011-07-19T16:35:00.004-05:00

someday i am going to have to let these sweet boys go. someday God will grab a hold of their hearts and although i will continue pointing them towards God, their faith will be their own. God will lead them to college, to the mission field, or to something my finite mind can't even dream.

and as much as i pray for the above to be true, i am beginning to see that my heart needs some work in this area. what will my reaction be when one or both of them sits casey and i down to say God has called them to take the gospel to an unreached people group in africa? to minister to the homeless in new york city? will i be the one that struggles with obedience?

Big Brother

2011-05-16T11:34:00.006-05:00

well, david has finally become a big brother. three weeks ago we were blessed to have our second son, landen. needless to say we are all still adjusting. God has designed david to be very compassionate which makes him an incredible big brother. he loves to hug, kiss and hold landen whenever possible. he has crashed on him a time or two but that is expected.

the problem he/we are having is that david is no longer the center of attention at all times. this is tough for any first child but since God has designed david with an extroverted personality and touch as his love language it feels incredibly hard for all of us. he has reverted backwards in sleep, obedience and general attitude. we realize that this will be short lived but it makes for long days when we are already sleep deprived from a newborn.

down side to imagination

2011-04-02T07:14:00.002-06:00

yesterday i experienced the down side to david's amazing imagination. he was scared of literally everything. it began outside when a grasshopper had the nerve to jump near him - melt down. then he couldn't go grab a book because one of his toys was going to get him. then we couldn't go to sleep for nap-time because there was a giant, a monster, a snake and not nice shadows in his room. you get the picture.

i had to take a few timeouts myself throughout the day. of course i wanted to say - "get over it" or "suck it up" but thankfully after my timeouts with God had the renewed compassion david needed. it's not like he wanted to be scared or was trying to be disobedient. i was encouraged that after a very long day of prayer, talking, reassuring, and repeating that bedtime went pretty smoothly. lets hope that we don't have more days like that one. moments, yes! days, NO!

ask the monkey

2011-03-28T06:50:00.003-06:00

i have probably mentioned a number of times how social and imaginative david is and how opposite casey and i are from that. oh, we have our moments of both but our comfort zones are more introverted and task-oriented. so david is "forcing" us to grow in these areas which is not bad. the picture above is a prime example - it is of david and his monkey Marvin [the current favorite stuffed animal]. marvin likes to ride in our car, eat dinner with us, play football and read books. i will admit seeing david with marvin makes me giddy about david becoming a big brother - he will be amazing. but the kicker is that marvin spoke last night. yes, much to david's surprise marvin spoke to daddy. the look on his face was priceless but the real fun began when it was bedtime. we did our usual nighttime routine and then left marvin and david to fall asleep. for the next five minutes david could be heard talking with marvin. it was clear marvin wasn't very chatty because david kept asking the same questions over and over. we just sat and listened to his imagination go wild with marvin. how easy it is to trust when you are two.

plans

2011-03-24T09:44:00.002-06:00

"I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29.11

David loves to hear about us picking him up in Ethiopia. Just recently I even got his photo book done of our journey to the Ethiopia which he LOVES to go through. His favorite part seems to be mommy crying the first time he came through the doors of the transitional home. Like me and you, David longs to feel completely loved. My tears of joy, anxiousness, excitement and exhaustion bring a piece of my love to life in his heart.

The other night we [David and I] were waiting for Casey to get home and were talking about God's love. I will be honest it is sometimes hard for me to comprehend God's love so to try and tell David about it can be challenging. The joy of only being two though is that he is far more open to understanding and grasping it then I am at twenty-eight. But as we talked I kept thinking of our journey to David. With his sweet little face right in front of mine I told him that not only does God love him but God has incredible plans for him. To which David responded - "what kind of plans?" Well, I said, only God can tell you that. So we will just have to wait patiently as God prepares you and even mommy for them.

What if Casey and I had only followed our plans for family? We never dreamed of adopting, especially not from Ethiopia. God has incredible plans!

tears

2011-02-17T15:20:00.002-06:00

"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2.1-4

what is it that causes us to pull back when we have children? do i use my child as an excuse not to proclaim the gospel? what am i really afraid of? his safety? the tough questions? the judgment of other parents?

i pray that God continues to help me grow in this area. that the Holy Spirit would make me uncomfortable and force me to struggle with how i proclaim the gospel now that i am a mother.

for this post to fully hit home you have to read what i have just read [http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/]. here it is...
“Jesus! Mama, baby Jesus! I want to see! I want to see Jesus!,” shrieks my littlest darling.

How can I refuse? I lift her, for what seems like the hundredth time this morning, to the manger scene on the living room bookshelf. She gazes in wonder, oohs and ahs, gingerly fingering the cornhusk baby in his twig and banana fiber trough.

“Jesus, Mama,” she whispers.

And so, the nativity scene that once was packed away each year after Christmas remains on the bookshelf still, because my darling baby, in all her wondrous excitement reminds me daily of who I want to be, the kind of life I want to live.

A wide-eyed, expectant child, gazing in wonder on a beautiful Savior.

In the middle of a broken, sin-crushed world, my soul cries out, “I want to see! I want to see Jesus!”

I want to see Jesus.

My darling Karimojong sister Maria, who is battling severe, gripping alcoholism, and her sweet baby are living with us still. People wonder, even gasp, that I would let her join us at our table. Isn’t she a poor example? Why would I subject my girls to that?

I want to see Jesus.

Newborn baby Noah snuggles to my chest as his mother lays dying in a hospital bed. He cried through the night and I feed him and kiss his pink toes and pray over his little life. Why do I do it? Don’t I have my hands full enough already?

I want to see Jesus.

Zulaika, her severely malnourished baby and her 8 year old daughter move into our home while we teach Zulaika how to care for her children and find her a job so she can continue to do so. They have lice. They do not bathe. Fear creeps up the back of my throat and I wonder, what if all my children get sick? But we have taken in sick people before, and each time He hedges us in protection. People ask, do I feel that I am being responsible?

I want to see Jesus.

Jane and her birth mom spend the weekend in our guest room. I figure if I cannot parent this my daughter, the least I can do is teach her mother about our Savior, invest time in their lives, pray over them while we love them. My heart breaks in two as her high pitched, breathy giggle once more fills my home and the pain threatens to paralyze me, but I won't let it.

I want to see Jesus.

Strangers eat at our table, bathe in our showers, sleep in our beds, share our everything. And I fleetingly wonder if it wouldn’t be better for my girls if I maintained some semblance of normal, but He shows me that HIS definition of family is not at all limited by my own.

I want to see Jesus.

I want to see Jesus and if I don’t step out, how can He come in? If I don’t give all of myself, my home, even my family, how will He be magnified?

Do I want my children to be safe? Absolutely. Do I want them to have a “normal” family dinner sometimes and be healthy and not be subject to the rage of an alcoholic or the hurt of friends dying and siblings leaving? Of course. But more than that I want to take a cue from my baby girl.

I want to whisper to them excitedly each morning, “Look, Jesus.”

I want them to see Jesus. In my life. In my actions. Lifted High. Magnified. In our neighbors, no matter how sick or dirty. In our home.

I want the best for my children, I do. And I believe with all my heart what is best is for them to have a mother – a crazy mother even – wide-eyed in wonder, recklessly chasing after her Savior.

More of Him. We want to see Jesus.

is it over already?

2011-02-17T15:07:00.003-06:00

i'm not giving up yet but nap-time has been tough this week. about a month ago he started talking/playing/singing himself to sleep most days. this week, instead of the normal 5 minutes of talk time and then he's out - he talks for a good 30 or more minutes before he goes to sleep and then only sleeps an hour at best. actually, he only slept 45 minutes one day and after only 40 minutes today is already begging to get up. i continue to make him stay in his bed for the full hour and fifteen that he use to take but he never goes back to sleep. i am praying that nap-time isn't over already, especially with baby number arriving in just 9 more weeks. either way he will still have rest-time each day but nap-time means complete quiet which this momma needs.

is it over? i hope not!

our number was called

2011-02-06T15:15:00.002-06:00

well, it has finally happened - we were called out of church for the first time because david needed us. not true - his teachers needed us. our sweet boy apparently decided he should be doing all the talking instead of the teacher and then once put in timeout refused to stay there. a proud moment for casey and i. casey was the one that went back to check on our stinker and very promptly took him to the restroom for a "talk"! so grateful for such an incredible husband and father.

on our trip home i asked david why he chose not to obey his teachers and this was his response, "i just had to talk mommy!" yep, we are going to have our hands full. not only is he cute, normally sweet, and very smart but he has something to say and thinks everyone should listen. baby brother needs to get here soon.

family fun

2011-02-02T11:20:00.006-06:00

i have a wonderful husband that works incredibly hard so that i can stay home with david and #2 soon. sadly, he has to work a lot of weekends as well so going out for family time is challenging. we were so grateful that he had this last weekend off and even more excited that it was 75 degrees in oklahoma. so we packed up and headed to the zoo. david loves animals so the zoo was a huge hit - even if the most of the animals weren't doing much. we laughed and played at the zoo for almost three hours and finished it off with some ice cream.

then, God sent us a snow storm [reminder, just 3 days ago it was 75 degrees] that has allowed casey to be home early in the afternoon [yes he still has to go to work - apparently animals like to be fed as well]. so the boys played outside yesterday and have already made plans to do it again today. i on the other hand stayed inside the nice warm house. it's good father-son time.

here are a few pictures of our week of fun...
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yes, this snow drift is as tall as david.

funny things are everywhere

2011-01-14T13:29:00.002-06:00

our sweet boy is incredibly relational. he thrives with a group of people whether it is kids his age, older children or just us boring adults. but i think his favorite thing to do is talk. he talks and talks and talks some more. although i'm not fully an introvert, i lean more that way than extroverted. so there are days when i am completely exhausted from just talking for what feels like the whole day. his sentence structure continues to improve but he does say some really funny things. here is a small glimpse into our daily conversations.

david - "i love you one, mommy!" mommy - "i love you too/two, sweet boy!"

mommy - "what should we do with baby brother when he gets here?" david - "eat him!"

david - "mommy sits to pee-pee but daddy stands?!"

david - "mommy a boy or girl?"

david - "why, why, why?"

david - "my eyes can't find it!"

mommy [woken in the middle of the night] - "do you need something?" david - "nothing!" [with a smile of course] mommy - "then why are you out of bed?" david - "i forgot!"

mommy - "who loves you the most?" david - "God, baby Jesus and Jesus!" [i haven't started with the Holy Spirit yet]

david - "PLEASE" mommy - "thank you for asking nicely but no." david - "PLEASE! PRETTY PLEASE" mommy - "again, thank you for using your kind words but when mom says no the answer is no! and PLEASE is not a magic word!"

david - "i don't know go ask your pop!" - we now quote books throughout the day this one is from Dr. Seuss of course

oh, he makes us laugh!

where should we go today?

2011-01-06T14:59:00.002-06:00

this is a question i have learned to value as a stay at home mom. not only that i can ask it but that most of the time i can meet the request. although we tend to keep a full schedule it is almost always flexible. now the typical answers david gives to this question are - "the park", "to see the cows", or just "outside". occasionally we get - "papa/nana's or grandpa/grandpa/grandma's" [that name is a story in itself]. but these are none of the answers i got two days ago. after a moment of pondering, david's sweet little voice said, "opia!" i wasn't sure i had heard him correctly so i stopped what i was doing to ask him again. this time we were face to face and those precious eyes looked into mine as he said, "opia!" yet again. my heart melted!

oh, i tried to explain why we couldn't just jump on a plane and head to ethiopia but my precious two year old couldn't understand. i had to leave him with some day we will all go back to ethiopia but even that didn't give me much ease. a part of our hearts will always be in ethiopia and we long to go back soon.

2011

2011-01-02T17:56:00.004-06:00

i'm not one for new years resolutions. don't get me wrong - i love to set goals and work towards making them happen, my problem is waiting until the first of the year. if i want to lose weight, read my bible on a daily basis or decide to write on my blog at least once a week - i will begin whenever i decide that's what needs to be done. if that is july, so be it!

a new year does set my mind a rolling though. what did i do in 2010 - what do i want to do differently in 2011? casey and i will look at our finances to set goals on giving, paying down student loans and do we even dare to think about college for our kids. casey and i will be praying over where God would like us to go this year. our church has many missions opportunities and trust that God will send one or both of us to one or more of them.

but the big thing for 2011 is the new addition to the butler family. david will become a big brother at the end of april/first of may. yep, we are pregnant. clearly we have known for a while but i have waited to post it. partly because i have a love/hate relationship with social media. i would rather tell my family and friends face to face than send out a generic post on blogger or facebook. i guess i'm old fashioned it seems. another part of me has wanted to hold onto david being an only child for as long as possible. we have only been home a year and most days i'm still trying to figure out how to be a parent to one child. but number two is coming [and it's a boy!] and we need to start planning. we have spent this weekend in phase 1 of room prep. it has included getting david a big boy bed [thanks davis family] and transforming my workout room into the baby's new room.

christmas 2010

2010-12-20T08:53:00.005-06:00

we have returned to the big town of unionville for christmas again this year. although the eight hour drive is not enjoyable we are grateful that we can come back each year. david loves to come play with grandparents and all the livestock that they have. we feed the cows, ride the ponies, chase the goats, hold the cats and torment the dogs. it's a boys life!

i am very frustrated this year because my camera has decided to stop working. it has been on the downhill slide which is why a new camera was on my christmas list. so sadly i don't have pictures to show of all our excitement the last few days. but i'm sure you can imagine the fun we have been having.

these pictures are from the fun david and i had decorating our house this year. i had already decorated the house before we went to go get david last year so this was his first year to decorate. he loved it. we did break a few of moms "pretties" but nothing important. we made some wonderful memories.

setting up the wise men that papo made for us a few years ago

stockings are hung with care

a job well done

working hard

a year already

2010-12-13T09:43:00.003-06:00

yep, one year ago we were traveling home from ethiopia with our first child - david. we were physically tired, emotionally exhausted, overwhelmed, and a bit scared. fast forward and we are physically tired, some days emotionally exhausted, and a bit scared. we have learned a lot about david, ourselves and God in the last year. what a fun year.

i am happy to say that david is completely adjusted to life with us now. it is amazing to think back to the first six months and how timid and unsure he was. now, we are fearless and a ball of energy. our baby has quickly become a little boy.

david - you bring us more joy than we could have imagined. God has given you so many amazing qualities that we pray He continues to develop in you. mommy's favorite is your love for people. you are sad when someone is crying and yet rejoice when someone is happy. trust your heavenly father and forgive your mom and dad when we fall short. we love you!

December 09

December 10

happy thanksgiving

2010-11-26T15:56:00.004-06:00

the list of our blessings is endless so i won't even try but i will state what tops my list - the provision of God. "So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding." Ephesians 1. 6-8

We have had a wonderful few days together. although casey has had to work some we have still had a lot of family time. we even spent our thanksgiving with my best friends family. we began the lunch knowing no one and left with lots of new friends. even david made a new friend.

they LOVED playing with the chickens [they are on the chicken's front porch in the picture]. they ran all over the place, yelled at everything, and laughed a ton. it was a wonderful day.

this is what we have spent most of friday doing. playing together in our little tent.

travel buddies

2010-11-09T11:15:00.002-06:00

we have just passed our one year mark for bereket officially becoming a butler [post on that later] and are closing in on our one year mark of traveling to bring him home. so of course my mind is full of memories and emotions right now. bringing david home was the greatest joy of the trip clearly but meeting our travel buddies was incredible. it was a small group - two other couples and a single mother. all of us adopting children at different ages, some of us bringing home our first child, others their second and fourth. although we have not been able to stay in touch as much as we would like we have a special connection.

we are excited that one of the couples we traveled with have already started their next adoptions [yes more than one child will be coming home this time] and have even met one of them. what an amazing story God is telling through them. casey and i have half jokingly/half frustrated talked about how this would be a family that could easily bring 10 kids home from ethiopia if the process wasn't so expensive and timely. but i know that they will bring home as many as God calls them to. God will provide a way for it to work. we love them and are praying for them each day.

travel buddies - we think of you constantly and are praying for all of you. God truly blessed us when we met you in ethiopia.

halloween

2010-11-09T11:04:00.004-06:00

okay, so we are a few weeks past but i thought everyone would still like to see pics.

david was a monkey this year which if you have spent any time around him is very fitting. he is incredibly strong for two years old and climbs on everything. like a monkey he just wants to see what's up there - you never know, it might be something really good. because mom and dad typically don't leave the good stuff where david can reach.

i think he wore this costume every day of halloween week. he needed to "try it" monday - smart little boy. tuesday - we headed downtown for some fun with other kids. wednesday - i don't remember putting it on but we might have. thursday - his class walked around the church trick or treating [okay - more just treating]. friday - it needed washed so i let him wear it for no reason before hand. weekend - then the big show was here. he had a great week and nhas way too much candy now.

my boys!

what to do on a saturday

2010-10-14T11:13:00.006-05:00

well, if you are a butler/owings you get working outside if at all possible. we have spent the last few saturdays painting fence at casey's work. david loved it.

serve God

2010-10-14T10:35:00.003-05:00

we pray like crazy that God will grab david's sweet heart young and never let go. there isn't a day that goes by that david doesn't hear how much God loves him and that he has incredible plans for him if he chooses to follow him. we talk a lot about God in our house - we talk about how he created everything while we go for walks, how we are to be care takers when we feed cows with daddy, God's love for us, God's desire for us and recently we have started talking about how we can serve God.

david has already begun serving God alongside us but we have just recently started talking about it. that serving God is a way to worship God and that he designed us with specific gifts to use. i realize that this is complex and david doesn't understand all of it but he gets part of it. so a few days ago i asked him how he could serve God? His response, "fly airplane". i am amazed by this child more and more. he "gets" far more than i imagined.

getting ready to ride an airplane a month or so ago

scream, scream, scream

2010-10-14T10:16:00.005-05:00

it has been pure joy to talk with david about ethiopia and traveling to go get him these last few weeks. we collected close to 200 pairs of shoes to be sent to ethiopia through our 146 Ministry so it has been fresh on his sweet little heart. actually, if i get the pictures out to show him it takes all that i have not to cry. i can not imagine our lives without him and thinking back to how God brought us together brings me to my knees to worship such a loving God. one of david's favorite things to tell us about ethiopia is that he "screamed, screamed, screamed at daddy but now we love, love, love him". the above picture shows how close casey could get the first day we met him - he had to be a few feet away or he would scream as if casey was trying to kill him. we certainly do not have that problem now. he runs to the door multiple times a day in hopes that daddy has come home to play. he hugs and kisses daddy every morning before he goes to work and mimics everything he does. i love these boys.

what's been going on?

2010-09-10T11:16:00.013-05:00

with the fall comes crazy schedules it seems. or maybe it just us. we have had baby showers to attend, bible studies to facilitate, work for Usborne [my new adventure], play dates for david, and other fun things that are just for mommy, daddy and david. so instead of writing a bunch of posts i will try and fill you in on david's life in pictures.

david has decided he likes to wear daddy's clothes. he has also developed a pretty good front kick.

david love, love, loves to read. big reason i started selling books for Usborne.

thanks to janel david has learned that ring pops are pretty tasty.

my boys celebrating the 4th of July in September. love this picture.

yep, he is a Owings/Butler for sure - he loves bacon.

so, while i let the food heat up in the microwave i went to put some different clothes on. when i returned david had moved a chair over and helped himself to my lunch. he's a smart little thing.

i was so excited this morning that david was off playing by himself [rare] while i worked on our shopping list. this is what i found when i went looking for him. yep, he had taken his pj's off, diaper off and was playing naked in his room. i'm not sure what to think of that one.

what a wonderful life we have!

mom's day out

2010-08-31T07:37:00.002-05:00

david got to enjoy his first day of "school" last week. he didn't want any pictures taken before leaving the house but i was able to grab a few when he got back home. he's such a boy in that respect. david and i both thoroughly enjoyed our three hours apart. he loved getting to play with other kids and i loved getting things done in a timely manner. i think it will be a great semester of mom's day out. thank you to ms rian and ms glenda for loving on our little ones and letting mom's like me have a few hours of quiet.

toes obey?

2010-08-12T14:15:00.002-05:00

o·bey /oʊˈbeɪ/ Show Spelled[oh-bey]
–verb (used with object)
1. to comply with or follow the commands, restrictions, wishes, or instructions of: to obey one's parents.

while taking a bath this week david asked the best question - "toes obey mommy?" i laughed at first but said, "yes, david's toes have to obey mommy." he proceed to ask the question with almost every body part, "knees obey?" "tummy obey?" etc. finally at the end of it i did the all encompassing - "every single piece of david has to obey mommy". and then the light bulb went on and i said, "and every piece of daddy, mommy and david has to obey God!"

i had never thought about it in such simple terms but the truth is there have been many times when my words obeyed God but my actions didn't. david has been an incredible teacher for me. his hunger for the truth forces me to look at myself. i am his mirror right now. what i do, he mimics. my mirror is jesus. what he does, i should do.

7 years

2010-08-10T08:44:00.003-05:00

i can't believe it but casey and i have now been married 7 years. although it doesn't feel like we just got married any more it doesn't feel like we have been together for 10 either. so we celebrated last night without our sweet boy. i have to admit i was quite proud of myself - i planned an entire evening without casey having a clue what was going on. it was a complete surprise!

there isn't much to tell, well you anyway. casey and i have a lot of great memories from our night out. some things just need to remain private between a husband and wife. this was one of those "dates". we laughed and talked and dreamed together for an entire evening. i am crazy about that man! we do want to thank all the friends and family that have come alongside us as individuals and as a couple to help our marriage mature. and a very special thank you to uncle kyle for spending the night with david.

casey was excited about the evening just not the picture taking part.

seriously?

2010-08-09T07:57:00.002-05:00

although i should have guessed this it honestly had not crossed my mind until a few nights ago. casey and i were talking about his trip to nashville and the people he met when a conversation about the human society began. i am not against the fight against animal cruelty - i am very much an animal lover but in light of the human cruelty going on in the world i want to cry, "Seriously? Wake Up People!"

do you know what that 218 million dollars that the human society had in assets in 2009 could do to help the men, women and children around the world fighting for their lives because of poverty? there are approximately 1 billion people around the world that do not have enough to eat or even have access to clean water.

or we could take a close look at the 146 million orphans around the world. some of which are lucky to receive one meal a day and maybe one outfit which won't be the right size. shoes - probably not. school - probably not. security of a family - nope.

it is painful to watch us be so willfully blind to the suffering that exists all around us. oh, it exists in the united states as well. we either pretend it doesn't or expect the government to take care of it.

God open our eyes, open our ears and then break our hearts. reveal yourself to us and the love you have for your children who are hurting.

one year ago

2010-07-30T14:21:00.004-05:00

one year ago today casey and i received our referral for Bereket. it was love at first sight!

here is our big boy now

silence

2010-07-29T22:10:00.004-05:00

"Be still, and know that I am God!
I will be honored by every nation.
I will be honored throughout the world."
Psalm 46.10

my silence began with a busy schedule and ended with me being still before God. honestly, it isn't hard for me to neglect my blog - i am not a writer nor is it an outlet for me. i write for david and future children to look back on and hopefully see how God was working in our lives as they were children. but i will apologize to those of you who follow our blog and have been a little neglected.

beside my computer i have a notebook that i keep random lists in. one list is for future posts - things david is doing, things casey and i are doing, and the things God is doing. i was becoming a little frustrated that i couldn't get everything posted like i wanted - i love to cross things off my lists and nothing was moving. not on my future post list or any other list for that matter. nothing can drive a list [slightly type A] person more crazy!

I try to spend some time with God every morning and not too many mornings into my frustration of not crossing things off my lists i began ranting ever so slightly ot God. i'm sure you have never done this but my rant went a little something like this - "God, i work hard everyday. i do EVERYTHING for david and almost everything for casey. is it too much to ask for a little time to myself? i just want to get a few things done!"

thankfully God loves me in spite of myself and graciously reminded me of EVERYTHING he has done. not just for me but for all of his creation. after that smack-down i decided that i needed to change my "extra" time for awhile. i would no longer speed through time with God in hopes of checking facebook, checking in on my other bloggy friends or even updating the blog.

after a few days i was amazed at how intense my time alone with God had became. i longed for Him in ways i only previously experienced when life had become hard. there was a hunger and thirst that only he could fill. i have a few theories on why it has been so intense but it is not for me to share now. i will say that the Holy Spirit is stirring some things right now that i was not expecting.

mr. hippo and potty training

2010-06-29T19:32:00.005-05:00

no, i am not crazy and have not started potty training our baby boy who is only 20 months old. we do have a potty chair that he uses somewhat randomly throughout the week on his terms. tonight apparently it was mr. hippo's turn to learn how to use the potty. david was very proud of his hippo.

it became even funnier when he asked if mr. hippo could have a gummie [short for gummie bear] which is david's "treat" when he goes in the potty.

Boo Baal

2010-06-28T14:39:00.002-05:00

every night in the butler house we spend some time reading God's word together. someone gave david, The Beginner's Bible and all three of us have enjoyed it. every page has a picture which makes it easier for david to pay attention, and the combination of the children's bible and our son has helped casey and i take a few steps back and hear God like a child again. night after night we see and hear how much God loves us.

last night we read from 1 Kings 18. amazing story, go back and read the whole thing. in short, God used his prophet Elijah to reveal himself to King Ahab, King Ahab's priests and all the Israelites . God once again showed himself faithful. He is the one true God, the creator and sustainer of all things.

as we began to read the story, david kept pointing at the picture at the top of the page. we explained that the picture was of Baal [the god everyone was worshiping and crying to instead of God]. he also noticed there was a man praying to Baal in the picture and we certainly didn't want him thinking that was alright. so we created a little chant - booooo Baal [thumbs down of course], YEAH GOD [arms praising God] and it has stuck. he really enjoyed booing Baal last night and today he has done the whole chant numerous times.

casey and i pray that God will not only reveal to us the idols in our lives but give us discernment into david's idols as he grows. we long for him to continue this "chant" in some form the rest of his life - boo anything that isn't God, YEAH to a life spent praising and serving YHWH!

father's day

2010-06-20T19:13:00.007-05:00

david and i have thoroughly enjoyed celebrating casey today. casey and i learned a long time ago that receiving gifts is not how he feels loved. actually, i think gifts is at the very bottom of his list of love languages so, no gifts. what do we do to celebrate an amazing father...we cook of course. david and i got up early to shop for the items needed. i thought about buying them early but casey would have figured it out and thus ruined our surprise. we made biscuits and gravy and that only happens about once a year. i choose not to make food that can clog my husbands arteries very often but this was a special occasion and it is one of his favorites.

pounding the sausage to make sure it is ready

biscuits are ready for the oven

final product

my boys on their special day

i love you casey. you are an amazing husband and an incredible father. thank you for coming on this journey with me.

fruit trees

2010-06-14T10:46:00.005-05:00

we have lived in our house for close three years now. There are two trees in our backyard and apparently they produce fruit, we had no idea. We have fresh blackberries and apricots waiting to be eaten. So David and I spent some time Saturday picking a little fruit and making some cobbler, yummy.

oops!!!!

got it! we have a great little helper.

frogs, lizards, bugs oh my

2010-06-09T13:51:00.003-05:00

this is not an uncommon picture of david nowadays. we spend a good amount of our day exploring God's creation. i will be honest this is one of the reasons casey and i asked for a little boy. i'm not saying that girls don't like to hunt frogs, turtles or bugs but the likelihood is slimmer. so far we have frightened a unsuspecting turtle which david still talks about, hunted down three frogs in our yard, followed countless bugs both inside and outside, and we have learned to climb the tree in the backyard without shoes. the only reptile we encountered that david didn't like was the lizard that found its way into our house. instead of the normal excitement of trying to catch the new "toy" i was faced with a child in fear. not only was he screaming, he was trying to climb on my head as quickly as possible. so with a frightened child and a lizard freaking out in my house i had to act fast. thankfully the lizard ran for the door when david started screaming so all i had to do was open it and throw him out. it was a crazy 5 minutes. welcome to summer!

drifting

2010-06-04T08:16:00.002-05:00

it has been a busy week in the butler house. we have been creating maps, signs, organizing puzzles, and making plans for familyquake. if you are in the stillwater/perkins area join us sunday, monday and tuesday at Sunnybrook Christian Church for familyquake. you can find more information on Sunnybrook's website www.sunnybrookcc.org.

i have enjoyed the craziness that comes with volunteering for such an event at the church. it has been different having david to "help" me. what should take a few minutes can now take almost an hour, but i love that he wants to help. when i start to lose my patience with his "help" God reminds me that this is a wonderful quality that i need to encourage.

although i have worked on familyquake stuff every day, my mind has been somewhere else. i can't explain it or understand why but my mind has been drifting to africa all week. i have relived our time with david in ethiopia, i have pictured the orphanage in rwanda that grace smith came from, i have seen the beautiful faces of the children i met my first trip to ethiopia and i have wondered - when can i go again and what comes next?.

vacation

2010-05-28T14:12:00.011-05:00

we got back from our first family vacation this week. casey was doing some work in missouri so he took a few days off and we traveled to see family. david and i spent a little time in the big U [unionville] with my parents while casey finished his work. then it was off to st. louis to see the middle butler boy and his adorable family.

david had many firsts over the vacation

first four-wheeler ride with pa [my dad]
first time sleeping in a sleeping bag - he has gotten too big [long may be a better term] for the pack-n-play
first time to the zoo - he loved it
first time to play in a sandbox
first time to play in a sprinkler

personally my favorite was just being able to spend some time with my husband. casey works a lot of hours all year around but this is the official busy season so we don't see much of him. he works 7 days a week and those 7 days have lots of hours included. david and i both enjoyed having his help with meals and the constant running and playing that a 19 month old does. they laughed and played in ways only a father and son can. it was fun to watch.

i love my boys very much! i am so grateful for how God has created and molded our family.

he was a little tired from the vacation - this is at 6 pm

sprinkler fun with cousin jude

sand box fun with cousin jude

high five to the monkey

a ride from papa

very excited about the zoo

more sand box fun

rock sliding with cousin cayden

four-wheeler ride with Pa, aunt D and cayden

daddy's boots

2010-05-11T10:03:00.008-05:00

i actually have two other posts that i need to finalize - one is about some funny reactions we have gotten the last few months and the other about our first mother's day. hopefully i finish them up this week.

but for now you get a little peek into today. david loves his dada and wants to wear and do everything he does. that of course includes wearing daddy's boots. the first two pictures are of david wearing dads very dirty work boots which he knows he isn't suppose to be playing in. call mom crazy but i don't love having cow yuck all over my house.

busted - i just couldn't help myself

how can you be upset at this cute face

this is our newly developed fake smile - had to include it

new boots that need to be tried out
they seem tough to get in though

got it

very proud of himself

big boy bed

2010-05-08T13:13:00.005-05:00

yep, we decided to try out a big boy bed for david. david was quite the helper yesterday as we took his crib apart to turn it into his toddler bed. he had great fun holding the screws for mommy. i had to keep a close eye on the tools because he really wanted to use them. he may enjoy working with his hands later in life like most of the men in the butler family.

i decided we would do it for nap time first that way we could change it back for bed time if it went horrible. much to my surprise he didn't try to get out a single time. when he did finally wake up he still wouldn't get out of his bed. i had to go get him - i'm sure that will change shortly. then the real challenge came - bed time. although he asked a number of times if he could get up he never actually got out of the bed. i was very pleased!

all went well until this morning. i got up at 6 am to walk the dog and spend some quite time with God, thinking david would get up around 7 am like normal. nope! according to casey he got up around 6:30 and wandered around the house yelling for us. david found casey in bed and was quite pleased just to curl up beside daddy for a little bit.

we didn't know if we wanted to shut david in his room each night or leave the doors open, both have advantages. casey may be voting to shut him in now!

first nap in big boy bed

giving tiger a hug - favorite animal right now

tucking tiger in bed

reactions

2010-05-07T14:04:00.003-05:00

can you believe we have been home for 5 months already? some days it feels like we've been home just a few weeks and others it feels like we brought him home from the hospital 19 months ago. we love this little guy!

since being home we have had a few opportunities to share our story of adoption. below are a couple of my random conversations with adults and children the last few months. some of them will be paraphrased as it has been a few months.

little boy - maybe 5 or 6 years old
boy - how come he is so dark?
me - well, we adopted him from ethiopia and their skin is darker than ours.
boy - long pause, then - so they're dark in ethiopia?
me - yes.

little girl - about 4 or 5 years old
girl - why does he have curly hair?
me - well, his mom or dad in ethiopia had curly hair.
girl - blank stare
me - we adopted him from ethiopia
girl - blank stare
- thankfully her mother came over and helped me explain the very large picture of adoption.

adult woman - 30's
woman - isn't it amazing how God brings families together even when you can't have your own children?
me - yes it is amazing how God brings families together but as far as we know we can have children.
woman - then why adopt? [this one broke my heart a little]
me - well, God broke our hearts for the amazing children in Ethiopia who need families. so we were obedient to his calling and began the journey of adoption.
woman - that's incredible. you guys are amazing.
me - God is incredible and amazing. believe me, there is nothing "special" about casey or i. loving this little boy is as easy as it gets.

adult woman - 50's
woman - isn't it amazing.
me - everything
woman - i bet you don't even notice he looks nothing like you.
me - not for a second.

since it is generally just me and david out and about i think most adults assume casey must be very dark because rarely does anyone take a second look at us. either that or they don't notice my red hair and very pale skin next to a beautifully bronzed little boy with tight curly hair and large brown eyes.

i continue to pray for opportunities to talk about our adoption and more importantly our great God who loves us and brought us through this journey.

baby dedication

2010-05-03T14:45:00.002-05:00

We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders. For he issued his laws to Jacob; he gave his instructions to Israel. He commanded our ancestors to teach them to their children, so the next generation might know them — even the children not yet born — and they in turn will teach their own children. So each generation should set its hope anew on God, not forgetting his glorious miracles and obeying his commands.
Psalm 78.4-7

We stood before our Sunnybrook family yesterday to introduce David and make the following commitments...

1. to choose to live with the commands of God in our hearts
2. to accept responsibility to be David's primary faith trainer and impress the truth and love of God on him as we experience life as a family
3. to love David with the unconditional love of Christ
4. to pray for David to know Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior

it was fun to look out into the crowd and see the many faces that prayed over us, supported us financially, and encouraged us as God took us through the journey of adoption. we are grateful to each and every one of those faces. along with our families, they will be the ones helping us raise David into the man God desires.

healing nicely

2010-04-25T15:44:00.003-05:00

our sweet baby boy had to go to the hospital for the first time this week. yep, circumcision time! side note for other families adopting little boys - i would recommend at least having an exam done. we found out that although david has no problems right now and won't for many years when he became a teenager problems would start jumping up forcing us to do his circumcision then. so have it looked at!

he did amazing! we got him up at 5:15 am to leave and he woke up with a sweet smile and a hug as usual. i think he is going to be a morning person. the surgery was only about 40 minutes and he was completely knocked out. i felt bad for laughing but he was in freak out mode when he started coming out of the anesthesia and it was funny for some reason. i laughed again that night when he very sadly said, "wee, wee hurt!" don't get me wrong, i felt awful for him but apparently i laugh instead of cry. he was a little more clingy and winy than normal but for the most part pretty smooth sailing. i no longer have to hog tie him or painfully endure his crocodile tears and sobs as i change his diaper. i'd say we are doing pretty good.

getting his id bracelet at the hospital

new and old

2010-04-15T07:20:00.005-05:00

for the last few weeks i have been revisiting my journal, pictures and mental notes about our journey to pick up david. although i enjoy thinking back and seeing his progress, i miss some of the things we did in the beginning. the first visit we had with him was spent making any noise i could with my mouth but our common ground came with clicking. the sound your tongue makes when you press it against the top of your mouth and then release it. somewhere he had learned that so we would do it over and over again. he laughed and smiled at me like i was the silliest person he had ever met [and i may have been].

sadly we don't do our clicking competitions very often now a days. and our once kiss happy boy is becoming a huger instead. he still loves to be kissed, especially when he hurts something. he can now say, "all better" when we kiss away a hurt. he can even point to the very spot that needs the kiss. his words are becoming clearer and our ability to communicate pretty smooth.

he loves to laugh with or at casey and i. he fake laugh and smile are pretty cute. he has even started to tickle us but it is more like a pinch which makes it a little tougher to pretend to laugh. he made his first attempt at saying please this week which just thrilled me.

our days are spent outdoors most of the time which continues to take me back to the small strip of grass that we played on when we first met david. he was just learning to walk so we made lots of trips up and down that strip in his cute bare feet. now, he is running in his cute little bare feet all over our yard and house. we love this little boy!!!!!

helping me clean - wiping down the frig

got to love boxes

i love those big brown eyes

Easter

2010-04-05T07:33:00.012-05:00

He is RISEN! it really doesn't get more exciting than that! Our family had a wonderful weekend together. it is rare for casey to be home that much during this time of year but he made a special point to spend a lot of time with david and i this weekend.

saturday was spent doing crafts which casey and i neither one are good at but david loved. we opened up the easter baskets that of course had candy, david really loved that. thank you nana for the mini m&m's so far they have been the favorite.

one of my greatest joys in the last couple of weeks has been praying as a family. david is starting to pick up on it which is really cute. at dinner he will hold our hands and sit very quietly to listen. his big brown eyes try and take it all in. but bedtime is the best. we all go into his bedroom - david gets in bed and casey and i kneel beside him. casey will pray and then i will pray and david just listens. when we are done he softly rubs his chest asking us to please pray again. how could we say no? so we do a couple more short prayers and then tell him night-night. well, now he has learned to say, "one more?" which is the sweetest thing i've ever heard so we say a another prayer. i think he could listen to us pray all night long. eventually we just have to say, "you can talk with God". he will even do it randomly in a day. thursday of last week we were doing some work at the church and he was having a little moment. i stopped the work and sat him on my lap to comfort him a little. we just sat there in silence for a moment when he asked, "pray?" - i almost cried. he has the sweetest little heart!

here are a few pictures from our easter weekend

where did those cows go?

a little four wheeler action

surely ty would like to eat these rocks?

helping dad go down the slide

first easter picture

rocking out with uncle kyle

yummy candy

stickers on eggs - we weren't daring enough for coloring

crafts with david - focus

traveling

2010-04-02T06:55:00.008-06:00

we decided it was time for david to see grandparents again so while casey worked in columbia, mo david and i hung out in unionville, mo. it was a very fun weekend. although david has only seen his grandparents a couple of times he felt completely comfortable with them. he loved his papa and pa very much. he would stop whatever he was doing to meet them at the door. i don't think grandma and nana were quite as impressed since they didn't get that same reaction.

he played and played and played some more. he ate all sorts of foods that momma doesn't give him very often and stayed up way past his bedtime every night. so i have a very tired boy now. he is actually still sleeping this morning which is rare.

the fun really came when david and i took off to meet casey in kansas city [2.5 hours away from unionville] so he could help me drive home. we got to the south side of kansas city only to realize casey was not going to be able to meet us. so, i took a big breathe, prayed for strength and patience and off we went. david and i on the open road of I-35 for 6 more hours. he was wonderful. his sweet little voice would call from the back, "all done?" when he was reaching his breaking point. thankfully it was a gorgeous day so when we stopped i just took him to a grassy area and we ran for a little bit. i think we sang the itsy bitsy spider and the ABC's a million times. although we know more songs that is all he wanted to sing.

i was so proud of him. although i don't want to do it again for quite awhile i now know that david and i could do if we needed to.

few pics:

two very tired boys. this is what i came home to on Wednesday night

tee-ball - he's a natural

helping mom put together his new slide

ready for another trip

playing piano with cousin cayden

tent fun with grandma

Revelation 4 & 5

2010-03-24T14:26:00.003-06:00

Revelation 4.8
Day and night they never stop saying: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come."

Revelation 4.11
"You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being."

Revelation 5.9-10
"You are worthy to take the scroll
and to open its seals,
because you were slain,
and with your blood you purchased men for God
from every tribe and language and people and nation.
You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God,
and they will reign on the earth."

Revelation 5.12-13
In a loud voice they sang:
"Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,
to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
and honor and glory and praise!"

Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing:
"To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
be praise and honor and glory and power,
for ever and ever!"

this encounter semester sunnybrook is studying the book of revelation and i am loving it. sadly i will admit that this is the first time i have ever seriously looked at this book. actually i have avoided it. i bounced between to reasoning's 1. i wouldn't' get it - apocalyptic writing just sounds tough 2. i was fearful - what if i interpreted it completely wrong? our lead minister jim has said on more than one occasion how important it is to read and understand this book along with the rest of the bible.

so in january our journey as a church began and it has been incredible. although we are already in chapter 18 i continue to re-read chapters 4 and 5 each week. i have had some of the best quite times with God after reading these chapters and i think it is because they put my my body and mind in the correct position - worship.

learning

2010-03-15T07:06:00.007-06:00

casey and i have jumped into a very fun age to parent. david is learning new things on a daily basis and understands almost everything we say. now, since we are first-timers our learning curve has been quite large as well. we have jumped into a stage that is mobile, independent [relatively anyway], strong willed and learning his boundaries, just to name a few things. we learned two new things this week that i thought were pretty funny.

1. running with a 16 month old in a jogger is harder than it looks

not only does he love going around corners but he likes to lean into the curve for added fun causing the 3 wheel jogger to almost tip over
he thinks it is fun to have mom try and sing while she's running
he becomes a little upset that mom didn't bring a banana for him to snack on during our outing
he really wants to say hi to all the people and animals that we pass by not realizing starting and stopping running is not really what mom was going for

2. time change is rough on the little man

getting up was off
going down for a nap was off
bedtime was a nightmare. if we had really thought about it we would have waited a little longer than normal to put him down but we didn't. so instead of the sweet goodnight kiss and a little giggle as we blew him a kiss from the doorway all we heard was screaming. we try very hard not to send him mixed signals so when we put him down we didn't want to get him back out just because he was screaming. we certainly don't want him to think that if he throws a huge fit he can get what he wants. needless to say we will know better for the next time change.

we got a sneak peak of our first photos that margo took for us. you can check them out at http://www.madiganephotography.com/blog/. honestly, i am impressed she got any photos. david was a little stinker the whole time. he didn't want to look at margo, he didn't want to sit anywhere, he didn't want to do a single thing we wanted him to. thank you margo for capturing our family in photos. we can't wait to see the rest.

here are a few pics from our everyday life

our surprised face

he can hold himself on the bar which is impressive

just getting a little workout in

i'm on the phone, stop looking at me

too big?

Genet

2010-03-08T14:53:00.003-06:00

my heart has been heavy for David's biological mother, Genet, the past few nights. i have awoken from sleep with her on my mind many times. we have prayed for her since we began the process of adoption knowing that letting go of a child would be incredibly hard. meeting her while in ethiopia was an incredible gift for casey and i and will greatly impact david when he is old enough to fully understand her sacrifice.

her life has never been easy. although she never said it and we didn't ask, her tired and weary face looked much older than she was and we just knew. food has been hard to come by, housing is minimal, and compassion and love freely given is only a dream. when we asked how we could pray for her the response was short "a different life". that moment with her is the one i keep replaying the last few nights. we left wishing we could take her and her daughter home with us along with david but that wasn't an option.

she is an incredible woman. far stronger than i am. she gave up her sweet baby boy for the hope that he would have a better life than she. she had no pictures of him, nor any guarantee that he would ever leave the orphanage, only her dreams for him.

there are approximately 4.6 million orphans in ethiopia. would you join me in praying for them? 1. for the families [like Genet] that have to let go
2. for families to respond and obey God's calling on them to care for the orphans
3. for God to receive all the glory in stories like ours

still here

2010-02-26T07:51:00.008-06:00

yep, the butler family is still alive and well. i have a whole list of things written down that i want to blog about but can't seem to cross them off my list. i'm not sure how we got so busy but david and i are out and about almost every day.

david is doing amazing. here are a few highlights:
1. he talks all the time unless we are around other people. i am trying to catch him saying different words on video - he has the sweetest little voice.
2. sleeping is getting better. we have had multiple all nighters now. the only set back has been that i'm not sleeping. looking forward to all of us sleeping.
3. loves to read. he now knows the difference between his bible and other books which makes my heart happy.
4. he loves his dada very much. he goes to the door all day in hopes that he will walk in.
5. since we don't live near our families he is learning about them via pictures. he's getting pretty good.
6. eats all the time. i hope he is nearing a growth spurt, if not, he's going to be very round.
7. he loves to climb on everything and push any button he can find.

we have our first family pictures tomorrow which i am so excited about. can you believe that we have been home for two and a half months and we still don't have a single picture of all three of us? that is ridiculous!

current favorite toy is the farm set

kissing dada goodbye

big boy sitting at the table

he really wanted to go outside

stuffing our face with crackers and bananas

being mom

2010-02-11T07:27:00.002-06:00

this is going to sound a little weird but i love being mom way more than i thought i would. i wasn't the girl that babysat all the time or even liked kids all that much. the joke for a long time was my baby sister was to blame - she is 12 years younger than i am so i had a very clear picture of what having a child was like.

part of my fear about being mom was leaving "the workforce". [some of you are thinking - you didn't have to the leave the workforce and you are correct. i actually still do a little work and hope to add in a little more at a later time but my main "job" and focus is david.] i have worked since i was 14 years old and loved every minute. i think God designed me this way but i would be amiss if i didn't thank my parents for instilling such a strong work ethic in me. so the fear was two fold - 1. i enjoyed working with my clients 2. i had no idea how to "be mom"

we have been home with david for 2 months this week and it has been incredible. i have a front row seat in teaching him and watching him learn new things, try and fail different tasks, comfort the alligator tears, and the list goes on and on. casey and i knew when we began this journey of adoption that i needed to stay home. 1. it seemed a little weird that we would raise all that money and wait two years to bring him home only to put him in a daycare 2. we kept thinking about Deuteronomy 6.4-9

“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

this isn't something to take lightly. raising david to become a man of God, full of integrity and passionate about His Kindgom is huge. thankfully God is the one that stirs hearts to his but that does not take away our responsibility as followers and as david's parents to impress on him who God is and what he is about. the gift of being mom is much greater and richer than i could have imagined.

note from casey:
for those that know casey you will laugh at this statement i received just a few nights ago - "you are a better mom than i thought you would be". i laughed because it was funny to receive such a backhanded complement but more because i was thinking the same thing.

"that" kid

2010-02-08T14:12:00.006-06:00

yesterday turned into quite the morning. there has been a lot of sickness going around so nursery volunteers were moved all over the nursery wing to make sure each classroom had a good adult/child ration [thank you patti for all that you do]. instead of helping in the 5's class i got to be the main teacher and the kids got to enjoy two new helpers which was fun. about half way through our time i realized casey had never come from dropping off david. in my head i'm thinking - "great! the day we need help in all the classes is the day david has a meltdown and casey has to stay with him." i felt a little bad when i realized patti had asked casey to stay in the 1's class to help. although david wasn't having a meltdown like i thought casey saw first hand that we have "that" kid. don't pretend you don't know - he's the one that won't share with others, steals toys from innocent children, cries when he doesn't get his way and then clings to you in repentance. good thing we are joining a play group soon.

few pics

cooking with mom

telling dad good-bye

lounging after breakfast

poor dog

2010-01-28T13:19:00.007-06:00

i realize a lot of people are not dog people but i am. i grew up with a dog in the house, so when we got married i thought it only natural that we would have a dog in the house. it took a little sweet talking and bartering [ie casey will not do a single thing for the dog if we get him/her] but in the end we got a dog during our first year of marriage. Ty, the dog, is now six years old and no longer as important as he was before david arrived. the pictures below showcase the daily fun david has at the expense of sweet ty. thankfully ty takes it all in stride and has been fabulous with the new annoyance that follows him all over the house.

[laying on ty]

[falling on ty - check out the dogs eyes]

[hugging ty]

these are just for fun...

i don't even know what to call this one

enjoying some cereal with dad

soil

2010-01-22T07:27:00.002-06:00

i have wrestled with this question many times over the past year and it has been ignited in my mind again this past week and i feel i should share it with you. i pray that you wrestle with it and ask God to reveal your heart.

the question is - what kind of soil am i? the question is brought from Jesus' parable in Matthew 13

“Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seeds. As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them. Other seeds fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn’t have deep roots, they died. Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants. Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted! Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”

now being the amazing christians we are, of course we are the good soil. how could we not be? reread the description of the good soil - it produced a crop that is thirty, sixty and even a hundred times as much as was planted. that is a lot of crop!!! i will be honest, as i pray for God to reveal my true heart it's not pretty. it is self-serving, prideful, and lazy. i will repeat - not pretty. that kind of heart does not produce a good crop.

i could end this confession/challenge with all the amazing promises of God [and there are lots] but it would only be to make me and possibly you feel better. God doesn't want me to feel better he wants me to CHANGE!

all i wanted...

2010-01-20T15:00:00.003-06:00

was to go to restroom by myself. sorry if that is tmi but it was the truth. he was quite happy in his chair, i thought i could move the plate of fruit away from him and run to the restroom really fast!

nope!!! i was completely wrong! not only did he somehow stretch and grab his plate but this is what i came back to find -

he is crying because his hand is dirty. i want to cry because he has squeezed a raspberry to a pulp and it is all over him, the chair, the table and the floor! yeah for mommy!!!!

sweet kisses

2010-01-16T13:45:00.005-06:00

casey and i are pretty sure david's number one or two love language will be physical touch. funny because that is at almost the very bottom of both of our lists. david loves to be held, kissed, and if he feels it has been too long he will come give you a little pat of some kind. he has been a kisser since we first met him. i don't know who he learned it from but he is actually pretty good. normally, kids his age slobber all over you in an attempt to kiss you with their mouths wide open. not david, he even has the smooching sound somewhat figured out.

i have tried to document when he likes to give kisses and thought i would share:
i get a kiss first thing of a morning - as soon as i pick him up i give him a kiss and he returns the gesture along with a big neck hug.

we get kisses at meals - in the middle of eating he will pucker up those cute little lips and give the mmm sound meaning i want a kiss. he really likes to do it when i have left my seat beside him to go get something. i think he likes the idea that i will run from the kitchen to give that sweet little boy a kiss.

we get kisses after he has gotten in trouble - he hates to be "punished". if i even talk sternly to him he cries and gives a kiss in repentance.

every time i finish strapping him into his car seat

randomly as we play together

when i tell him no but he wants to do it anyway - now this is a new one that just started this week. if i tell him he can't climb on ty, our dog, he walks over to me and gives me a kiss then walks back over to ty. the funny part is that he won't do the action but wait for me to say yes or no again. smart little stinker!

it is amazing how much i enjoy those sweet kisses! i am trying to soak it in as i have no idea how long it will last.

few pics from the last few days:

go MIZZOU - thanks henderson's for the new outfit

he has figured out how to get into our desk chair with no help

helping mom get ready in the morning

reflection

2010-01-12T13:30:00.003-06:00

through these doors are 89 children waiting for their families to come. on the day this picture was taken casey and i were there to meet our son, david bereket butler. i had imagined this moment for two years and it was finally here. my palms were sweating, my stomach was in knots and my eyes were focused on this door. wondering - will he like us? will we know what do to when he cries? how will we say good-bye? i am amazed at how it was almost instantaneous that those questions left as david bereket walked out the doors of the house to meet us. those questions no longer mattered. i was finally able to hold and kiss my son after 2.5 years of praying for him.

did he like us - not really. he was terrified of casey, as in, screamed and tried to climb away in your arms to get away even if casey was two feet away from him.

did we know what to do when he cried - nope. we had no idea what he needed or wanted. so we tried the usual - hug, kiss, food, diaper, games until he stopped.

saying good-bye - awful. not because of the place he was staying, the transitional home is amazing. the nannies are amazing. we couldn't have been more pleased with his care while he waited for us to come but knowing that he is ours and yet he can't come home with us was hard. i wanted to hold him longer and kiss him more. i wanted him to sit with casey and realize he how much fun they can have together.

and here we are a little over a month later. i told you i would share with you what God has been doing in david's life as well as ours and here it is...

everyday we see more and more of david's sweet personality:
- he is sensitive and cries easily
- he wants to help me more than he wants to play. he would rather help me sweep the floor than ride his truck by himself
- he can be very strong willed

his favorite things:
- he LOVES when casey comes home.
- bath time
- to be chased down the hall only to turn and run into your arms for a big hug
- to climb in and on everything

we are blessed far more than we deserve. i had no idea what God was going to do when i can back from ethiopia three years ago with my world crushed. i stood on the stage of sunnybrook and said "i have no idea what God is planning but i know i can no longer be the same". i fully believe our adoption is but a very small piece of God's plan. i pray that God continues to break our hearts for the things that break his. that casey and i would be obedient and submissive to his call on our lives.

happy birthday casey

2010-01-08T07:20:00.005-06:00

just so everyone knows i have the most amazing husband. he has been sick since new years day and working out in this yucking cold weather and still comes home happy to see david and i. i am a very blessed woman. just wanted to share that. anyway, yesterday was his 29th birthday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY. david and i worked very hard on his present. actually the hard part was trying to keep the marker that david was holding from writing all over him, me, the table, and of course ty [our dog]. but the sign turned out great, throw in a picture of david for his desk and some brownies, mmmm, and we have a birthday party.

we had a great evening together. david is really starting to love on casey. all day yesterday he would walk to the back door saying dada and then throw his hands up, his sign for i don't know, each time he realized casey wasn't home yet. it was cute.

david has officially been with us one month today. each day god amazes me at how much he has grown both physically and emotionally.

well, our little guy is up so i will leave you with that cliff hanger and fill you in with details soon.

loves the big blue ball

found a scarf and won't take it off

first time with chocolate and he loved it

home again

2010-01-04T12:07:00.008-06:00

i love getting to go back to unionville for a week each christmas but it always feels good to be back home. i can sleep in my own bed, sit in silence if i want and the biggest one... david sleeps better. although he has still gotten up once each night that is progress from our 4 or 5 times each night in unionville.

since coming home i have noticed a few changes in david -
1. he no longer eats anything. zero vegetables for him. he likes bananas, apples, crasins, peanut butter sandwiches, yogurt, meat [chicken and a little beef for now] and cheerios. that's it! so, now it's a challenge - welcome to parenthood.
2. after watching his cousins Cayden and Jude feed themselves [both 5 months older than he is] he decided he wants to as well. so i let him do the yogurt by himself and he actually did pretty good.
3. he has started mimicking almost anything we do. last night he growled and flexed his muscles and this morning we was raising his hands in worship while we listened to some music.

oh how i love this little boy -

listening to an african children's choir brought out the praise

growling at mom

tired and needing my dad

how can you get upset at such a cute face

cleaning out nana's tupperware drawer

feeding myself

Merry Christmas

2009-12-29T20:54:00.013-06:00

a few days late. casey, kyle, david, ty [our dog] and i finally made it out of stillwater on christmas day. if you didn't see the weather, oklahoma got hit hard with snow this year which made heading back to missouri a little tougher than normal. but after 10 hours in the car [normally only 7.5 hours] we made it back to the big town of unionville. david was a champ - i guess after you have flown across the ocean [22 hours flying] what's a short car ride. i wish i could say the same for our sweet dog. sadly, he got sick in uncle kyle's car. thankfully he was in his kennel so the mess was contained but smelly just the same. sorry uncle kyle.

it has been great to be home. david has done AMAZING with all the craziness. i have to admit was a little scared to come back after only being home with him for two weeks. meeting lots of new people is tough on our sweet little guy. the only thing he is struggling with is sleep. he is sleeping less here than we was back home which means he and i are pretty tired. sadly, he actually does better tired than i do.

he has played and played with cousin cayden and cousin jude. ok, so they aren't really playing together as much as they are co-existing together without fighting.

we are incredibly blessed! god, i am grateful for the birth of your son and am humbled by the gift of his death and resurrection. help me to tell the whole story.

few pics:

jude and david getting in their " chairs"

they made it

he worked very hard to get his bottom into this bowl

and got the balloon, he's talented

unwrapping presents at papa and nana's

playing peck-a-boo with dad

emptying grandma owings' tupperware cabinet

getting into cayden's new doll bed [and yes he did a face plant]

"sharing" toys with cayden

getting into a routine

2009-12-22T12:56:00.009-06:00

casey and i are still tired and going to bed around 9 pm [shortly after david] but the last two days have been amazing. david and i are finding a decent rhythm for our days. it has been a little weird being home all day but i am loving spending so much time with david. i think he has a lot of me in his personality. yesterday he decided he wanted to play with the football and basketball at the same time but couldn't figure out how to pick both of them up. so i jumped in and handed them both to him thinking that might solve the dilemma. NOPE. he did not need or want my assistance, he wanted to do it on his own and fought with it until he got them both in his arms. can anyone say stubborn and independent?

casey and i will be going/staying in for our first date night tomorrow evening. uncle kyle will be watching our little guy for an hour or two so we can spend a little time together. i know there is a long list of people that want to babysit david, but uncle kyle is first in line. we will keep you posted for future date nights if you want to be on the list.

few pics:

finding mom and dad have drawers that he can open

and out comes all my pants - he was kind enough to put them back

go TIGERS

first trip in red rider

loved playing at the playground

one week

2009-12-19T11:20:00.008-06:00

i can't believe we have been home one week already. david has really started to come to life the last few days. he loves to make faces and funny noises. just this morning he learned he could raise his eyebrow which made us both laugh. he is trying to learn how to whistle like dad but only seems to blow out air. did i mention he is incredibly stubborn? naps are a battle no matter how tired he is and for the first few days when he didn't get what he wanted he would either hit or bite me. i am happy to say that he has learned that isn't the best way to handle his frustration with mommy. he still won't go but a few feet away from my feet but the need to be held is becoming less and less each day.

my favorite moments of our first week:
1. learning that if i stay beside his crib with one hand on his chest and praying over him before nap time he doesn't feel the need to scream bloody murder. i always wonder what he is thinking as i pray? he listens very intently as i speak to our father.
2. the way he says, "woof, woof" and looks for our dog ty every time he wakes up.
3. how he likes to "help" mom. he is kind enough to carry his dirty diapers to the trash can when we are all done. he likes to help me carry laundry to the appropriate rooms and he loooves opening and shutting doors for us.
4. watching him play with casey. partly because of how cute our sons laugh is but mostly to see my incredible husband go all out to get him to laugh.

now to the good stuff - pictures:

following dad out to the farm truck

mooing at the cows

getting ready to walk the dog - notice the leash in his hand. i love this backpack by the way - great investment for as active as we are.

deciding on his hat

so sweet!

"helping" mom push the cart

day of firsts

2009-12-16T16:51:00.006-06:00

after a fabulous night of sleep for all three of us we have had a great wednesday. oh, and our little man is 14 months today! this picture was taken just moments before he got his first round of shots in the states. guess how many he needed? SEVEN!!!!! needless to say he was not all smiles after that. it only took one granola bar to make him feel better so i thought he did great.

since he was doing so well, i decided we needed to go buy some shoes that fit his feet. uncle kyle was kind enough to buy him a pair and i thought i gave him the correct size but it seems shoes and sandals are not the same sizes. so he has been wearing a pair a size too big. he actually loves wearing his shoes which seems odd to me but it makes things pretty easy when we get ready to leave. so this picture is of him in old navy in his first shopping cart experience. as you can tell, he wasn't sure what to think.

he was still doing great an hour after getting shots and spending thirty minutes in old navy shopping and talking so we headed to wal-mart. he got into shopping in wal-mart. i think he likes to people watch. here we are at the check-out.

we had lots of fun today!

still on ethiopia time

2009-12-14T15:21:00.003-06:00

yep, we are all three struggling to get back into the swing of things here in oklahoma. david was up at 1:00 am but i was able to get him back to sleep around 3 am and then casey got back up with him at 5 am. so we are trying short naps today in hopes that he will sleep better tonight.

both of our families have been here the last day. they said they were coming to help us but i think they just wanted to come play with david. it has been fun to watch his little personality change over the last week. can't believe he has already been with us for one whole week. i hope to get our daily journal on here soon but for now we just wanted to let you know we are doing great [tired but great]. thank you for your prayers!

here is a picture taken today on our way to help dad at work

papa and david

Thursday in Ethiopia

2009-12-10T06:24:00.000-06:00

it is 4 pm here in ethiopia and we are preparing to close our eyes for a few minutes while david sleeps. no one got much sleep last night which made for a long evening and a really long day. there has been lots of progress in the last few days with david though:
1. instead of running away from dad he actually reaches for him
2. he feels comfortable enough to wonder around our little apartment
3. we don't have to carry him absolutely everywhere so he's walking with us a little more
4. he laughs and giggles lots now

we are definitely ready to come home but are quite nervous about the plane ride home. 14 hours from dubai to houston seems like a really looong time. can't wait to see everyone. we will get our trip posted as soon as we can. the internet has not been as consistent as we would have liked but what can we say, we are in ethiopia.

Sunday - Day 1

2009-12-06T09:20:00.003-06:00

it is evening here in ethiopia and i am reflecting on everything that God brought together. casey and i both woke up at 4:30 am and could not go back to sleep. we have not made it to ethiopia time yet. so we spent the morning talking and laughing together. we didn't get out of bed or even turn a light on. we just laid there and enjoyed some time together. julie on the other hand has slept incredibly well.

we were able to go to church with two other couples this morning that are also adopting through america world. we worshiped at the International Evangelical Church. it was such a beautiful picture of heaven. there was so many different tribes and nations represented in that building. the woman leading worship was from south africa, one of the speakers was from australlia, and the minister was from the united states. and that is just a small picture of the different nations we saw. oh, and for the butler/green family we sang the doxology today which made casey and i think of you.

we then headed to lunch with the group. it was fun seeing how daring each person would be with the food. casey asked the waitress her favorite and got that which in my opinion was the bravest because he really had no idea what he was getting. i have to admit i will probably play it safe all week. my head and stomach are a little touchy and i would rather not have any issues here.

then our group split off for the afternoon. while the other two couples did a little sight seeing, casey and i with julie went to meet david's biological mother. meeting his mother was a gift. there were many tears from her and me. she loved/loves our son very much. she is brave and wise beyond her years.

tomorrow we will meet david face to face for the first time. i have a feeling it will be another emotional day. we will only spend the afternoon with him tomorrow but when we pick him up on tuesday he is with us forever. they call tuesday - Gotcha Day!

we made it

2009-12-05T08:58:00.002-06:00

we have arrived in ethiopia without any problems. it was a long two days of traveling so i [rande] am just waking up from a three hour nap and the other two are still sleeping. we are staying in a cute little "apartment". we have a small kitchen, sitting area and two separate rooms both with bathrooms and even a small balcony. really no news but i will share some of my highlights from our travels thus far.

meeting a young muslim woman/girl [17 years old] on here way to visit her family in pakistan. she was so excited about our journey of adoption. she wanted to skip visiting her family and come with us to meet david. julie and i spent some time talking with her about school and family and even got to ask her a few questions about her beliefs. the one statement that was funny and yet incredibly sad at the same time was her response to jesus, "he's just like your jesus only not God's son." in my head i was screaming - "THAT's THE KEY POINT."
the airport in dubai was amazing. it felt like a shopping mall. gorgeous is all i can say.
we all three got to say in one room in dubai for the forced lay over. there were two beds but neither was much bigger than a twin. casey and i who are not cuddly people got to be very close all evening. we survived!
casey made a new friend on our way to the hotel. he was sitting by a woman about three rows ahead of julie and i just talking away. i love to hear him tell our adoption story [luckily his voice carries and i could hear him quite well].
unpacking all of our things. we are finally here and ready to get david. his clothes have been laid out, bottles and food put in the kitchen, and toys are waiting in our living room.

well, i need to go wake casey up and get ready for dinner. the internet seems to work great just a little slow so i should be able to post every day. we shall see!

love my hubby

2009-12-03T14:13:00.002-06:00

we have arrived in Houston with no problems. now we hang out and wait for a few more hours and then we are off to Dubai. my favorite memory of the day has been watching casey confuse/trick julie. he just can't help himself it seems.

as i sit across from my husband of six years a smile comes to my face. he is an incredible man. he is funny, smart, hard working, laid back and "easy". i am grateful for how God has allowed us to grow together. and now we are bringing home our first child. does it get much better? only on the other side of eternity!

the time has come...

2009-12-02T20:47:00.003-06:00

yes, we are heading to the airport tomorrow morning! we have finished up our jobs, packed, repacked, reorganized and are putting the finishing touches on our carry-on's. we will be taking our computer with us in hopes of updating as we go but there are no guarantees that we will have power or availability. below is a brief look at our week to come:

Saturday - get settled into our hotel and do a little sight-seeing
Sunday - head to church, visit David's biological mother, maybe some more sight-seeing, meet the rest of our travel group
Monday - head to transitional home to see David for the first time
Tuesday - Gotcha Day, David is with us forever
Wednesday - Embassy Day
Thursday - visit orphanages and do a little shopping
Friday - shopping and sight-seeing, leave to come home
Saturday - arrive back in Oklahoma

thank you in advance for your prayers. we are nervous, excited, and ready to go! a special thank you to uncle kyle for making sure everything is taken care of while we are gone.

not mom yet

2009-11-18T14:12:00.002-06:00

i have had a crazy few months preparing for our son to arrive. casey and i have both been working as much as we could knowing that when david arrives all of that changes. today was not unusual in the busy/crazy schedule but i did have a few minutes to come check on casey [home from work this week] and grab a different snack [didn't want the one i had grabbed at 5:45 am]. shortly after arriving him casey informed me that, "well, he has tonsillitis." i stared at him. my mind was trying to determine the "he" in that statement. i first thought of his brother kyle but we had just seen him last night and was fine so i ruled him out. nothing, absolutely nothing was coming to me so i had to ask, who? casey gave me the stare followed by, "really? our son in ethiopia, who else would i be talking about?"

needless to say i felt a little silly for not even considering that he might be talking about our son. so be in prayer for our little guy - he will be taking medicine for the next few weeks and will hopefully be feeling better when we arrive.

BearKat

2009-11-13T18:11:00.002-06:00

it has been a stressful week trying to get our flights nailed down, planning for being gone from work, researching/purchasing the last things needed for travel and all without my amazing husband. so waking up at 2 am every evening has not been helpful!

but, i have had lots of dreams about david this week. my favorite needs a little buildup though. when we first saw our cute little boy we were trying to guess how to say his name and without hesitation casey says, BearKat. since then, casey has continued to call him BearKat. "BearKat Butler" is a great sports name according to casey. so, the other evening i found myself dreaming about david. in the dream he was around 3 years old and running away from me. he was running in the street and i was furious with him. i was calling for him and running for all i was worth but i could not catch him. at 3 years old my boy was too fast for me to catch and was taunting me while he did it. i couldn't help but laugh when i woke up! casey's hopes of having an athlete has crept into my dreams now.

we are officially heading to Ethiopia on Thursday, December 3rd! three more weeks!

a maybe

2009-11-08T16:31:00.002-06:00

we are a maybe for being in ethiopia december 6th-11th. yes, we are finally heading over and i no longer feel weird for getting most of david's stuff packed already.

we were blessed to share the video montage of david that we posted a week ago with our church family today. jim had asked me earlier in the week if he could use it during his sermon today and of course i said yes. all week i have wondered what my response would be - would i cry, would i run to hug those people that have been beside us through the whole journey, would i... i just wasn't sure. i watch the video every day [sometimes more] and i tend to get emotional and cry so i was leaning heavy on that emotion coming out. well the moment came and i snuck into the sanctuary to watch the video and as some cried, i laughed. yes, i thought i might have to leave because i felt that "giggle" working itself up. i had the biggest smile plastered on my face as i looked at my son and i couldn't stop laughing at everything that has brought us to this point. the journey has been full of maybes and we have finally hit the last one. when this maybe becomes reality we are on our way to pick up our son!

still waiting

2009-11-05T08:06:00.003-06:00

we still have not heard when we will be traveling so i thought i would just show you a few more pictures of our very cute son.

we PASSED

2009-10-30T10:00:00.004-06:00

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

thank you for coming with us on this journey. we hope you enjoy the video. we will have more details soon.

glory and praise to the one who gives life!

what went wrong?

2009-10-28T11:55:00.003-06:00

this is a question that i believe we have all asked in our lives at some point. you may have picked up on me wrestling with a form of this question a few times throughout this adoption journey. i had an amazing moment of clarity just yesterday when a couple of great friends and teachers forced a group of us to answer this very question in regards to the life of Stephen [first martyr]. i will try to share what i learned here but know that my words don't always best articulate what i am thinking.

text this comes from Acts 6.1-Acts 8.3 [worth the study time]

key verses that lead to the question at hand:

Acts 6.3 - therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom...

Acts 6.5 - they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit

Acts 6.8 - and Stephen, full of grace and power, was doing great wonders and signs among the people.

Acts 6.10 - but they could not withstand the wisdom and the Spirit with which he was speaking.

Acts 6.15 - and gazing at him, all who sat in the council saw that his face was like the face of an angel.

Acts 7.55 - but he, full of the Holy Spirit gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God.

Acts 7.59-60 - and as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." And when he had said this, he fell asleep.

WOW! so what went wrong? all we read shows the he was a man with great repute, full of the Spirit and wisdom. answer - NOTHING!

i doubt that i will ever know God as intimately as Stephen did. he understood and lived the text from Philippines 3.10-11 - I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!

the goal isn't for everything to go right - the goal is to know Christ and explain his story to anyone we can and sometimes that may mean going against the grain.

dreaming

2009-10-20T18:40:00.002-05:00

casey has not returned from work yet and i have completed the "have to's" for tomorrow so i am cross referencing my packing list with another one i just received and dreaming of the amazing trip that is coming. i wish i could post the picture of david that i keep looking at as i try and guess how many diapers/bottles/outfits we will need to bring. soon, very soon we can show him off. the 30th is right around the corner.

not yet

2009-10-15T11:04:00.002-05:00

my sweet husband called about 10 minutes ago to say that we did not pass court today. the correct paperwork was not brought so we had to be dismissed and given a new court date.

so we will give this another go on Friday, October 30th.

thank you for all the encouraging emails, calls and texts over the past 24 hours. although we are sad that we didn't pass we are still pretty excited that we are at least moving again. two weeks will fly by and very soon we will bring our son home.

moving again

2009-10-14T11:33:00.002-05:00

we received confirmation that the courts were open yesterday and things are moving again. here is part of the email we received yesterday...

"We are moving forward to work with the court in order to receive court dates for all families. Please be prepared that it is not uncommon for the court to issue court dates out of order from referral timeframes. Rest assured we will be doing everything we can to get all families a court date as quickly as possible.

I am hopeful to have confirmed court dates for all referral families in the next three to four weeks or possibly sooner. I will email your family as soon as I have received your confirmed court date."

today i opened my email to see post after post of other families receiving their court dates. i was so excited - we are moving again and our children are coming home. after reading in anna's last email that it would be hopefully three to four weeks to confirm dates i was content with things moving and then...

we got another email saying our court date is October 15th. Yes, i said October 15th which is tomorrow! my heart and stomach are flipping at the moment! america world will be contacting us as soon as they hear word from ethiopia about our case. just a reminder - only 50% of the cases pass the first time so we aren't packing our bags just yet. although i do have quite the excel sheet ready and waiting to be put to use.

praise the one who gives life to all things!

court news

2009-10-02T17:18:00.002-05:00

if you have not been following us the courts in ethiopia have been closed since august 23rd [from memory so rough guess] and they were scheduled to reopen on monday. we even know of a few families that are scheduled to go to court on wednesday the 7th. sadly that is not what will be happening. we have just received word from america world that the courts will not be opening until the following monday [the 12th]. i have not heard if the families scheduled on the 7th have been rescheduled yet. they are estimating once the courts reopen it will most likely be another few weeks before we get a court date set.

this is very hard to hear. we met our son on July 30th so we have missed 65 days or just over 2 months of his life with us due to these court closings. i ask that you pray for casey and i to stand firm, knowing that God has brought this together for His glory and His perfect timing. we have found that satan is trying to sneak in and cause seeds of doubt that we heard God correctly in our calling to adopt. our enemy is very sly but our great and mighty KING has already saved us from his grasp.

Romans 16.20
The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.

what are we waiting for?

2009-09-28T12:03:00.003-05:00

well, the ethiopian courts shut down for a few months so we are waiting for them to reopen. they are scheduled to open again next week which means we are about to start moving again.

what's next, you ask:
1. when the courts reopen AWAA will begin petitioning for our court date. we are hoping they will set us a date next week but it may be two weeks before they set it.

2. at our court date - they will hear our case and all that wonderful paperwork we sent months and months ago will be important again. 60% of the families pass on the first court date and we of course are praying to be in that 60%. if we don't pass, they will reset our case for another date and we will try again. not passing is more of a hassle than a worry.

3. once we pass court - DAVID will be officially ours and we can begin our plans to travel. it is typically 2.5-4 weeks after we pass court before we travel so it will move pretty quickly.

what are we praying for?
1. for the AWAA staff both in the states and in ethiopia. the ministry that God has called them to can be difficult, tiring and frustrating yet they continue to be positive. they have a heart for God's orphans and i so appreciate all that they are doing to care for David while we wait to go get him.

2. for the people of ethiopia. the poverty is unthinkable to us in the united states. most of the children being adopted were given to the orphanages because the family had no means to care for them. these are not easy decisions to make.

3. for the moment we first meet David. we are madly in love with our son already and are so anxious to get to hold him. we talk about him as if he were here and dream about him when we sleep. so we pray that we will be patient and understanding when the time comes for him to meet us and he isn't madly in love. God has brought us together and we have no doubts that we will all bond just fine but those first few days may be a little rough.

4. that God would call more families to adopt and that they would be obedient to that call. there are 146 million orphans around the world that need homes.

fasting

2009-09-16T14:53:00.003-05:00

how about a few updates before we chat about fasting.

casey got to put together the first of many toys for David. [thanks wenslers]

casey and i went to our first OSU football game in four years. we really do like the pokes but we are mizzou tigers to the core. and yes my husband can smile he just doesn't in most pictures.

we continue to wait for the ethiopian goverment to open back up and get our process going again. it is still looking like october 7th will be the start up date so we are nearing in. i think i very naively thought that with the very sweet picture of my son this process would somehow get easier. i have no idea why because the truth is that it has made it so much harder. i love how God has wired me in that respect. my heart longs for the son God created for me and Casey. i just love that!

now for the fast. my heart has been heavy for a while now for David, the 146 million other orphans and the families that are in the same spot we are, waiting. so, casey and i spoke last night and we are going to begin fasting together on thursdays. we want to humble ourselves before our great and mighty king and diligently pray and fast for the things he has laid on our hearts. if you would like to join us - we will be fasting each thursday until we travel to get David. this will be casey's first and thus our first fast together so we appreciate your prayers as we try to be obedient to what God is calling us to do.

the body

2009-08-23T16:57:00.006-05:00

Romans 12.4
Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ's body. We are many parts of one body and we all belong to each other.

Ephesians 1.23
And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself.

i have just returned home from an amazing afternoon with incredibly Godly women who i get to call friends. seven of my best girlfriends organized a shower for david today and i have to say it was more emotional than i thought it would be. as i was preparing for church today knowing the shower was this afternoon i began reflecting on our journey. i thought back to the moment casey laid his bonus check in front of julie and i at mcalister's and said, "let's go". i remembered meeting with our team for the first time and praying over how god would provide the funds. i laughed at the memory of the garage sale. i giggled at the spud bash mostly because that was the weekend ryan confessed the he and ashley had begun praying over adopting a child. then i fought the tears [already in makeup at this point] as i thought about seeing david's face for the first time while the sunnybrook staff watched us through the window. now, i can include a house full of women praying for david to become a warrior for God. the body is alive!!!!!

to my girls -
thank you for generosity, hospitality, compassion, and love. thank you for loving our son.

now for a few pics.

good within the bad

2009-08-20T08:13:00.002-05:00

yesterday we received the email we had been waiting for. only problem was it didn't say what we wanted it to. sadly the ethiopian courts are not issuing out any more court dates until they reopen in october. we had been praying that we could at least have a court date to look forward to before they stopped but that is not how God intended it to go. so we continue to wait for God's timing and we can meet our son in person.

the good news is that the smith family received their approval this morning. so they are one step closer to bringing their child home from rwanda. so while we are not excited about our news we can celebrate with the smith's. our children will be coming home soon.

more waiting

2009-08-15T08:31:00.003-05:00

hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait. that seems to be the story of our adoption. i wish i could say i have gotten better at the waiting but i don't think i have. i keep going back to one verse, john 3.30 "He must become greater and greater, and i must become less and less." God has taught us so much about ourselves, about each other, and about Himself through this journey. we are finally seeing with some clarity why it has taken us two years to get here. we will divulge more when we can share all about david.

so what's next? well, we are waiting to hear when our court date is. the courts in ethiopia are officially closing from August 22nd - October 6th. we are praying that we can at least hear when our court date is in October before the end of the week. it will be a long month and a half if we have no date to even look forward to.

he is almost home!

gifts

2009-08-05T15:06:00.005-05:00

these tickets arrived in our mailbox last friday the 31st. along with it was a letter that said,

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.

My victory and honor come from God alone.

He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.

O my people, trust in him at all times.

Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.

Psalm 62

This gift is given in Grace

then i noticed the last piece of the letter. two money grams for a $1000 each. to this point i had not cried yet. i generally don't cry when extremely happy and that of course is what i was after seeing David's sweet face. but this was unexpected and more generous than my heart could handle. i wept!!! i moved to the carpet and knelt before God!!!! through tears i prayed something like this, Lord, we are unworthy of such an extravagant gift [david] and now you bless us with this [money for plane tickets]?! i am overwhelmed at your love for me. help me be the mother that you desire. to the unknown giver - thank you for hearing God, loving our son who waits for us and giving joyfully. we pray that God continues to make you more like him in every way.

then, on saturday [after many missed deliveries] these arrived. this is an african violet and it was sent from two very special people - mom and dad butler. we love you both!

if we only had a video camera...

2009-08-02T18:38:00.003-05:00

you could have seen our faces when we saw david for the first time. YES - WE RECEIVED A REFERRAL!!!!

the entire day was crazy and full of laughter, tears, jumping and praise. but the story actually begins wednesday night the 29th. you see, that was the night before my birthday [rande]. casey was wondering about meeting for lunch and i said i couldn't. it was a going to be a normal thursday which meant i worked from 6:15 am - 5:00 pm without much of a break. birthday or not birthday i had responsibilities. HA - God must have been laughing and whispering, "if you only knew".

so thursday morning came and went as normal, couple of clients and a few hours working at the church. nothing new, except for me and the girls grabbed a quick lunch together in the library to celebrate my birthday. and then it happened... my phone showed a message from AWAA. my heart began to leap - why would they be calling? the message was calm and very sweet - "butler's this is caitlyn from AWAA and we have some exciting news for you. when you are both available please call us back". i began jumping and running - this was it, the call we had been waiting for 1.5 years for. it was nearly impossible to control myself as we waited not so patiently to talk with caitlyn. after numerous phone issues that only caused my jumping to increase we finally heard the words, "this is your referral call!"

it was an emotional day. i wish i could show you pictures of our very cute little boy but until we pass court we can't post his picture or name. all i can leave you with is that he is 9 months old, healthy and seems very happy. he has a great big smile. so, we are praying that we get a quick turn around on our first court date and that we can pass the first time [40% do not pass on the first time] and then we are off to grab him. God - thank you for your perfect plan. without your transforming love, we would have never dreamed of adoption. now, we can't imagine a life that doesn't include this little boy.

a waiting mom

2009-07-23T13:14:00.006-05:00

this one will be random but i wanted to share about a few moments in my daily life as i wait for David.

i carry my phone with me at all times thinking that any call could be "the call". yes, i know most likely it won't be for another month or two - we are just so anxious to get our referral.
i get overly excited when i'm in david's room and sometimes just walking past it gets going. the anticipation seems to be building.
i can no longer sleep. i think God is trying to prepare me for David's schedule. can't say that i am loving that yet.
i randomly realize i have no idea what we are going to do with a baby. my most resent pondering was, where do i change his diaper on our very long 14 hour flight? more and more of these questions pop into my head each day. again, i think God is trying to prepare me.

it is fun to be giddy excited again!

what could it be?

2009-07-18T11:49:00.006-05:00

this box arrived on our doorstep friday afternoon. what could it be?

David's crib!!!!!

thank you momma owings! it is beautiful!! the nursery is almost complete!

On Deck

2009-07-16T14:45:00.003-05:00

clearly, our wait has been nothing like the wait for Abraham but i can't help to think about Hebrews 6:15 - "And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised."

we just received an email from AWAA telling us that we are officially on deck which means we should be receiving our referral within the next one to three months. as the staff from sunnybrook can attest, i am jumping with joy. we are one step closer to bringing David home. what an incredible God we praise. three years ago in october God planted a seed of adoption in my heart while visiting Ethiopia. two years ago in october Casey and i began praying about adopting. one year ago in october the Smith family [close friends] decided they were going to adopt a child from Rwanda. so, i'm thinking October would be a pretty cool time to travel back to Ethiopia to pick up our son.

more referrals

2009-07-06T20:27:00.002-05:00

i thought i would just do a quick email and blog check this evening so i could hit the ground running again tomorrow but God brought me a little surprise. America World just posted that 9 more referrals were given today and 7 of those were infant males.

but wait, it gets better... they have changed the anticipated wait time for a referral for a infant male to 6-8 months. YEAH!! we are already in our fifth month which means we are closer than we thought now. thank you for all your prayers. this was an unexpected boost to our waiting game.

court closing...

2009-06-25T10:28:00.002-05:00

after researching other blogs and websites we have determined that the ethiopian government will be closing August 7th - September 27th. they do this every year so it is certainly not a surprise and Ministry of Women and Children's Affairs are still processing referrals which is awesome [another 11 were referred last week making 22 for the month of june]. be in prayer for those families that just received their referrals because it would simplify things if they could pass court the first time and travel to receive their children before everything closes.

what does that mean for us? well, our paperwork left on 2.20.09 and the current wait time for a referral is 9-11 months which puts us in November. with the court closings we have to cut those months out completely from our count which then puts us in December/January. although we would love for it to be sooner we at least have a end point in our vision. the fun part is that because we have already been in this process for 16 months [yes, we will near 23 months in the end] our fingerprints and home study will need updating. i do not doubt that God could bring David to us before they expire but our past history indicates we need to be prepared for the long haul.

father's day gift

2009-06-15T09:49:00.005-05:00

casey and i are both working like crazy right now so when we had a few hours with each other on sunday it seemed like a perfect time to give him his first father's day gift. so below is a picture of casey's first journal. cute, uh? it's leather so it smells like a new ball glove.

this journal will some day be given to our son david. either the worst happens and casey passes away before david is grown; or we get to his teenage years and conversations are hard to come by and his dad's words need to come in another form. inside the cover of the journal i gave casey a few topics to help get him going. [thank you to the dads that helped me make this list].

i loved you before i ever met you...
if i could give you any quality i'd give you...
a relationship with jesus christ is most important because...
my dream for you is...
i learned from your grandpa to...
when i grew up in the little town of unionville...
i love your mom so much and chose her because...
you should love and honor your mother because...
when you choose your wife make sure you...
i don't want you to ever forget...

david - we are ready for you to come home. you already put a smile on our faces and we have yet to see yours. god has incredible plans for you.

few updates...

2009-06-11T09:09:00.002-05:00

nothing real exciting happening yet but we do have a few updates to share. the ethiopia program has monthly conference calls to give us updates which has been a huge blessing. my heart breaks for those families adopting from other countries like Rwanda and do not have even the little comfort that comes from having these conference calls.

so here is what we learned...
1. although the government is still deciding what to do about the abandoned children in the city of Addis Ababa referrals are still going well. there were 12 more referrals at the end of May which was exciting to hear. that means that our time frame has not been moved which is what we feared when they said that 25% were no longer available to adopt at this time. so our DTE date was within the first two weeks of February [sorry i don't have the paperwork in front of me to give you exact dates] and the wait time from there is 9-11 months.

2. the courts in ethiopia have not started slowing down yet in preparation for their break in early fall [they are off from the end of august to the middle of october]. so there will be more referrals coming in june and most likely july. we do not expect to hear anything in the next few months but that does mean once they are back in session we shouldn't be too far off. without the break, october would be the earliest we would hear something [according to current trends] so maybe december.

3. when we travel to ethiopia to get david we will be staying in a really neat guest house instead of the hilton hotel. america world got wind that families living in ethiopia found it hard to watch all of these "foreng" [what ethiopians call foreigners - i have no idea on the spelling] come in and take their babies and hide in this huge hotel. pictures will never due justice to the poverty that exists in ethiopia and neither will my words but know that the hilton in ethiopia looks just like a hilton here in the US - very big, very crisp and lush. the difference is that unlike here the buildings/homes next to it are literally shacks. we give our pets better homes than what most people live in ethiopia.

i even found out from another blogger that is staying at the guest house right now that they walked to the Zebra Grill for dinner which our team ate at while in ethiopia two years ago. so i can picture the area we will some day be staying in. it gave my heart great joy and peace to have a fairly concrete picture of the future.

4. lastly, our power of attorney is still sitting at the Embassy so it has not been approved yet which means it has not met up with the rest of our paperwork in ethiopia yet.

wow, that was a lot. thank you for your continued prayers and encouragement. the waiting has been tough on me [rande] the whole time but it is now getting tougher for casey as well. he is anxious for david to be home - i think he is ready to start playing with a little boy.

the redhead temper...

2009-06-05T12:02:00.004-05:00

yes, it does exist. it is a dark spot in my heart and although God has worked on it tons it seems He has left enough to remind me of my ugliness occasionally. oh, and it came out last night. i won't go through the entire story but in short i looked nothing like Jesus. i have spent my time between clients today praying and calling the friends that i was so harsh to. it has been incredibly humbling and yet God has blessed even this ugliness. i received a great text from kyle this morning [someone i needed to apologize to] that said, "God's grace is big! You are forgiven." that was plenty for my shamed heart but God continued to speak and i got to hear my clients recite Psalm 63.3 all morning which says, "Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you!" isn't He incredible! He is so worthy of our praise!!

so the next verse i will be memorizing and will have David memorize someday is James 1.19-21, "You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls."

off to OKC

2009-05-31T19:43:00.002-05:00

well, we got word friday afternoon that our Power of Attorney needs to be redone. so we met with Jill this morning to get our new one notarized, and i am off to OKC tomorrow afternoon to have it authenticated. since we have not yet made it into the court systems in Ethiopia this shouldn't be much of a delay but i definetly dont' want to give them any window to slow us down.

so off to OKC i go.

going to be a bit longer

2009-05-14T12:28:00.004-05:00

although it is not the news we were hoping to hear we did get an update. there are a lot of things going on in Ethiopia right now. Ethiopia and a lot of African countries are facing a famine right now. Ethiopia was not able to produce much of a crop in 2008 and it looks to be worse for 2009. the children that our coming to the orphanages our agency runs are so malnourished that they are having to have special formula sent from the states. it is hard to fathom living like we do that their are children on the other side of the word struggling just to stay alive. be in prayer for these little fighters and the special people that are caring for them until families can come get them. i have contacted our agency to see what we can start doing to help and will keep you posted when that is available.

how this affects us:
although their are more children coming in because of the famine the government has not set a precedent for what legally happens to the abandoned children that are coming in. so until the government can make that decision those children abandoned at the doorsteps of orphanages can no longer be adopted out. that accounts for 25% of the children coming in. although they have not changed our wait time from the original 9-11 months yet it is most likely only a matter of time.

so we continue to wait for God to introduce us to David.

the run

2009-05-02T18:23:00.003-05:00

in my last posting i informed you that casey and i neither one enjoy running but i forgot to mention that i am running in my first half-marathon in two weeks. crazy, i know. i am finding that although i still do not enjoy the running piece of it, i do love to talk with God as i'm running. sadly, i do not spend time just talking and listening to God for longer than 10-15 minutes at a time. ok, in that small of a time i am clearly not doing much listening. so i have grown to love the 1-2 hours of time with God. today was a 1.5 hour day. i spent my first three miles reminding God that i am so ready for David to be here. I told of my dreams of david and the moments that casey and i will have with him. i was even so bold to tell him i was tired of waiting. it is exhausting and i am just tired of it. He spent the remaining six miles telling me "i know". today was one of those days when i felt like i could touch Him, He was that close. it was good to be in his presence today.

a future marathoner?

2009-04-21T08:56:00.002-05:00

casey and i got to spend some quality time together at 5:15 am today. ok, not so quality since i was not even remotely awake yet. i am up between 4:30 and 5:15 six days a week and there are definitely days when i have to push myself to get going. lucky for casey today was one of those days.

so as we sat eating breakfast together - i turned on sports center in hopes that casey would stop talking. the very first thing we saw highlights of was the Boston Marathon. casey and i are not runners. as a personal trainer i know the benefits and run because of those but i would not say i enjoy it. anyway, the men's winner was from ethiopia and the women's second place finisher was from ethiopia. a seed has been planted - maybe david will be a great runner????? it was fun to dream together of david's future.

a month already...

2009-04-15T15:26:00.006-05:00

before you get too excited - we have not heard anything regarding our adoption. everything continues to sit in ethiopia waiting for someone to look over our paperwork. i am finding it easier to wait now. i think part of it is not having to be reminded every day by the paperwork still sitting on my desk. it may also be that i had prepared myself for delays in ethiopia. after all, who can i call to make it hurry up? the answer - no one.

according to the latest news it will probably be another 7 or 8 months before we hear anything about david. we continue to get updates on other families getting their referrals but nothing for us for a while. please pray over casey and i [and david] as we wait for god's perfect timing. we believe that their is joy and purpose to this wait and we don't want to miss that by wallowing in our longing for david.

i know you girls have been waiting for this picture. david's travel/diaper bag is here. it turned out so cute and very fun.

love the stripes

2009-03-28T08:15:00.010-06:00

i know you have been anxiously waiting for me to add the pictures of our painted nursery. the wait is finally over.

started with a green wall

primed and first round of stripes [more work than i thought]

my paint helpers [sister V and sister Hart - we had great time]

the finished work

decor to come next

color challenged

2009-03-19T11:48:00.004-06:00

i know this may be hard for some of you to believe but i [rande] struggle picking out the right color to wear, buy or paint. i agonize over what color goes with my red hair - does it make me look even paler than normal? does it clash against the red? and on and on my mind goes. so it is no surprise that in the last 6 days i have sweated over what color of ribbon to put on my new travel tote that i got for David and even worse what color i will paint his bedroom.

thankfully, i have great girlfriends that recognize that my color gene is missing and have stepped in to help. my first intervention was last friday night. while everyone else was moving on to what creative way they could monogram their bags, i was still trying to decide between a black or chocolate bag [yes, it is sad]. although they did laugh a little at my struggles [out of love] they helped me create what i think is a pretty stinkin cute travel tote. when it arrives i will make sure and post a picture.

even worse than my struggle to create a bag, was my struggle to pick a paint color for David's bedroom. we had already picked out the bedding and gotten it from grandpa and grandma butler for christmas so i thought it would be a no-brainer kind of decision. wrong!!!!! i walked into the paint store with bedding in hand confident that i knew which shade of blue i wanted and then it happened. i was paralyzed by all the choices. they were all similar but not exact and then it accrued to me that i might not want it to be so matchy-matchy. i refused to let my fear of picking the wrong color stop me so i bought a couple of samples to try confident one would jump out. wrong, yet again!!! i sat in david's room two nights in a row just looking at the paint on the wall. neither jumped out which put me back to square one but this time i knew i need to call in backup. kylie was not only willing to come to my house to see the blues but in thirty minutes she told me exactly what to do. if i wanted him to be able to grow into the room then she pointed out one color of blue. if i wanted it to be more babyish than another color of blue was chosen. a decision was finally made and this weekend we will be painting. praise the lord.

there will be pictures of the very dramatic transformation so check back early next week.

in ethiopia

2009-03-09T13:20:00.003-06:00

this news is about a week old now but our paperwork has made it to Ethiopia and has been delivered. i was grateful to be in Mexico while our dossier was making its rounds through Europe. i'm sure i would have been checking that handy tracking number every day but thankfully i got to spend that week serving God in Piedras Negras. nothing like building a house for someone else to put things back into prospective.

our family coordinator said now we will just be waiting. we will now get to partake in the monthly conference calls from Ethiopia. i am anxious for the first one - i think this will be a great encouragement for us to hear what is going on in the courts there and then more importantly what is happening with the children.

please continue to pray for the family that has to leave David for us to have him. we pray that God would wrap his arms around them during this difficult time.

it's not coming back

2009-02-19T08:40:00.004-06:00

we were able to hear confirmation from our family coordinator in virginia wednesday that our dossier is complete. our dossier will be taken to the embassy and then if all goes as scheduled it will be heading off to ethiopia with lots of other families waiting to bring their sweet children home on friday.

as we've waited to hear news from our family coordinator i have spent some time reading our old postings and journal entries. it has been a whole year since we first sent our application off so we have had lots of exciting days - starting our home study, our first fundraiser [the garage sale], finding out the Smith's are adopting from Rwanda, and my favorite - our Sunnybrook Kids giving us a check at KidsQuake. with those joys we have also had some very frustrating days. i have often wondered what God was waiting for. i am grateful for our families, our team, and close friends that continue to remind us that their is something special about to happen if God is waiting this long to match us with David.

that being said, i wanted to expand our last posting just a little. in my frustration with our slow process, i did a absolutely horrible job of congratulating the Smith's on their approval. we are ecstatic that they received their approval and how God is moving in their family. we have been so blessed to have them in our lives. if you haven't checked out their blog you need to [click the Smith Family on the right].