silence

"Be still, and know that I am God!
I will be honored by every nation.
I will be honored throughout the world."
Psalm 46.10

my silence began with a busy schedule and ended with me being still before God. honestly, it isn't hard for me to neglect my blog - i am not a writer nor is it an outlet for me. i write for david and future children to look back on and hopefully see how God was working in our lives as they were children. but i will apologize to those of you who follow our blog and have been a little neglected.

beside my computer i have a notebook that i keep random lists in. one list is for future posts - things david is doing, things casey and i are doing, and the things God is doing. i was becoming a little frustrated that i couldn't get everything posted like i wanted - i love to cross things off my lists and nothing was moving. not on my future post list or any other list for that matter. nothing can drive a list [slightly type A] person more crazy!

I try to spend some time with God every morning and not too many mornings into my frustration of not crossing things off my lists i began ranting ever so slightly ot God. i'm sure you have never done this but my rant went a little something like this - "God, i work hard everyday. i do EVERYTHING for david and almost everything for casey. is it too much to ask for a little time to myself? i just want to get a few things done!"

thankfully God loves me in spite of myself and graciously reminded me of EVERYTHING he has done. not just for me but for all of his creation. after that smack-down i decided that i needed to change my "extra" time for awhile. i would no longer speed through time with God in hopes of checking facebook, checking in on my other bloggy friends or even updating the blog.

after a few days i was amazed at how intense my time alone with God had became. i longed for Him in ways i only previously experienced when life had become hard. there was a hunger and thirst that only he could fill. i have a few theories on why it has been so intense but it is not for me to share now. i will say that the Holy Spirit is stirring some things right now that i was not expecting.